NIGHT

Am awake all the night ,
thinking about my life.

Am restless and wanna fight,
but couldn't get the guts to survive .

Hoped for better , hoped for light ,
guess am not alright.

Jumping from the subjects
like jumping from a plane 

Thinking about it , thinking around it 
and processing all these , hoping one day 
miracle will happen and I will fight it .

Am not weak it's just am not doing it right 
need to focus it 
need to face it 
and need to love to do it .

Wishing for a wishing well 
so my wish come true 
wishing for a happy life 
so my dream come true 

little happiness

My little happiness
lies in very small small things 
for some they are just nothing 
but for me they are everything...

when I was small
I find my happiness in eating fruits
that seasonal fruits 
now my happiness lies 
in shining stars , full moon 
new season
new flower pot 

because I don't need more from my life
I just need petty things stick by my side... 

MOON AND CLOUDS

ON A WINTRY NIGHT 
I SAW MOON SHINING ALL WHITE 
COLD AND DARK SIDES 

CLOUDS CROSSING MOON MAKING IT A SHOW 
BUT THEN THERE WAS A CHILL WIND
FLOWING THROUGH 

COULD IT BE MORE COLD 
OR COULD IT BE SO SHADOWY

 
BUT THEN THERE WAS A 
COLDNESS IN THE SKY 


WAS LIKE A DEAD SCENE 
OR LIKE A PALCE WHERE NO HUMAN LIVES 
OR LIKE HELL IN WHITE 


MOON AND CLOUDS 
WITH STARS LIKE A DESERT  
WINTRY NIGHTS WITH ALL GLOOMINESS  

WASTE

WANDERING WHAT I WANT,

THINKING WHAT I CAN DO.

IN THE DARK LONELY NIGHT ,

I ONLY DESPISE HOW I AM SO UNABLE TO DO NOTHING.

THE WAY I AM LIVING ,

CARELESSLY , WASTING IT,

I MIGHT END UP IN A STREET FULL OF PEOPLE WHO ARE SAME AS ME .

THAT WON’T BE SAD

BUT IT WOULD BE PATHETIC

TO SEE MY SELF GOING DOWN AND DOWN

AND SO DOWN THAT I MIGHT BE KICKED OUT

BY THAT STREET TOO

IN A ROAD FULL OF HOLES AND SPEED-BREAKERS.

AND WHEN I WILL SEE

I WILL SEE A LOT OF PEOPLE

WHO ARE GROWING

AND GROWING IN THE RIGHT WAY THAT I

WAS UNABLE TO DO,

STILL SEEKING MY WAY

STILL FINDING MY DREAM

I AM AFRAID I AM NOTHING BUT A SMALL KID

WITH NO DREAMS AND JUST CRYING FOR A TOY

FOR A MEANS TO LIVE THE LIFE.

I FEEL SAD

FOR MY CONDITION AND OFTEN GETS UPSET.

BUT WHOES GONNA RESOLVE THAT

APART FROM ME .

AM I SO DUMB ,

OR I HAVE THE POTENTIAL ,

JUST REVOLVING IN THIS TWO LINES.

MAY BE ONE DAY I CAN ACHIEVE IT

OR MAY BE ONE DAY I WILL LOOSE IT ALL.

ME

IN THE NIGHT I WAS THIKNING ,

WHY I FEEL ALONE

WHY I FEEL SAD

WHEN I HAVE NO HAVE TO HOLD ON.

THEN I REALIZE IT’S ME

WHO IS HOLDING ME BACK …

I CRY FOR BEING A COWARD

FOR NOT ABLE TO SPEAK FOR MYSELF

FOR FEARING SOMETHING I SHOULD FACE ..

I BLAME AND BLAME OTHERS FOR MY WEAKNESS

I TRY TO AVOID THE THING I SHOULD FACE

AND ATLAST IT’S ME WHO IS HOLDING ME BACK

IT’S ME WHO IS BLOCKING MY WAY

TO THE PATH OF THE GROWTH ….

Heartbeat


Somewhere away
      There will be a land
Of you and me
Where there will be
Only peace
Me in your arms
Kissing your lips
There will be no noise
Only music
Dancing all night
and sleeping in your  lap
Swimming in your eyes
And floating in your love.

Life after you


NEVER THOUGHT I WOULD BE LIVING LIKE THIS
LEAVING YOU NEVER SEEMED EASY…
BUT I SEE THAT WAS TOO GOOD..
NOW AM HAPPY AND FREE
AND NOT BOUNDED BY YOU..
YOUR THOUGHTS SACRED ME EVERYTIME YOU PUT THAT ON ME..
I THOUGHT THAT YOU WERE MY LIFE
AND I WAS UNABLE TO LIVE WIHOUT YOU…
BUT I LOOK NOW HOW EASY IT WAS TO GET AWAY FROM YOU
AND LEAVING YOUR SHADOW WAS BEST THING I COULD EVER DO…
I WASN’T GROWING UNDER YOU
I WAS DIMINISHING LIKE A DYING STAR…
LOVE SEEM LIFE TO ME AND

YOU SEEM RAY OF HOPE TO ME..
I WAS WRONG
LOVE IS NOT ALWAYS YOUR LIFE
LOVING YOUR LIFE IS.
AM NOW A STRONG AND A FREE SOUL…
THAT DOESN’T WANTED TO GET TRAPED

SOMETIMES


Sometimes i lose faith,
I lose faith in me .
I try to understand
But am confused
Am not getting
What it takes to be.
By not speaking any word
would not help me.
But it will surely weak me.
Thinking all the time
To get what i want
But doing noting
And staring the wall
It makes me hopeless
And it makes me a coward.

Today

Today’s weather was great.

One of my friend called me when she was out with her boyfriend , just to show me weather, she was happy .

But i was in my bed sleeping , not worrying whats happening outside.

Sometimes not caring what you want and just let things go , helps your mind to calm down and not to think much.